As I See It
By Elpidio R. Estioko
There is a saying that, “For every success of a man, behind it is a woman”! Is it true? Or, just a myth?
That might be true, but if it is, I think it’s just a coincidence! Generally, I would say a person’s success (man or a woman) depends on him or her, i.e. depending on how hard he or she works for his or her goals in life. Whoever is behind, man or a woman, where motivation or sacrifice is exerted, success or failure depends on how the action was executed.
But, let’s try to examine how women influence men in their successful endeavor to find out how far can they influence or impact men’s success. Syed Amir Gilani, University of Lahore, said in his article, there are some surefire ways to make their husband, lover, or partner more successful. Women, check this out! First, shut up! This is a disturbing thing to say, but it is true and I agree with the author! Stop nagging! Men by nature, I think, doesn’t want to be nagged or to be told to do things repeatedly. “If the man in your life is being unreasonable, and making a deal about something that is plain ridiculous – shut up! Wait a few hours and see if you still feel the same way. If you do, think about how you are going to communicate it with him that will end in a positive result for both you and him,” advised Gilani.
Make yourself presentable -wear/use lipstick. Gilani pointed out that “dressing up for your man shows him that you care about how you look and want him to still find you sexy, desirable and the way you were when you first met. Also, work out, keep your body in shape and don’t let yourself go! This is not only for your man – it is also for yourself”.
Women seem to be forgetting this tip!
Understand where he is coming from. Men are brought up to be men… “Why not ask your man what it means to him and work out how you can better accommodate his needs so that your relationship benefits from a firmer understanding of what a man is in your household, the author explained.
Ladies, let him watch football. Gilani pointed out that “it’s a couple of hours out of a weekend and it gives you time to do the things that you need to do. It’s inevitable that every person wants time out. Women read gossip magazines or chat to their friends. Men watch football. Simple!”
The next pointer is often overlooked – keep the house tidy. “When a man is busy, the worst thing in the world is to come home to an untidy dwelling. Clutter means confusion and places pressure on their brains. They cannot deal with it. Sure, they may have been messy before you met them, but they have learned that part of the value of having you in their lives is that you provide a home for them, not a bachelor pad,” the author explained.
Learn to understand what stress does to people. Being a man and being successful often comes with a lot of stress. Men put pressure on themselves to provide money for the family, social standing and leadership…With stress, people yell, are unreasonable, say things they don’t mean, don’t think clearly and let any little thing set them off. If you understand stress and what it does to people, it will help you better understand your man.
You will be able to provide them with the support they need to minimize the stress that they are in.
Don’t shop until you drop! No man wants a woman that is a compulsive shopper. Improve yourself and your own self-worth by buying things that you need and when you want to spoil yourself, do it only on special occasions. Men pick up on women that shop compulsively. It’s often a source of misunderstanding.
Listen to what he has to say. Sometimes your man needs to tell you about his day… to provide himself with a better understanding of what he is doing and by saying it out loud, it allows them to pick up on things they may have missed during the day… He may not take up your perspective but at least it gives him one that may not be the same as his own.
Read! Read things that relate to your man, his work and his interests, so that when he comes home, you have something to talk about… Your man will be proud and you will add value to him becoming more successful.
Another writer, Peterson Tumwebaze wrote in 2015 that a person’s success (not only a man’s success) depends on them; on how hard they work in order to achieve whatever they’re aiming for. But… the continuity of that success as the person moves forward depends a lot on the support of the people around them and for men; a woman’s touch counts a lot. A woman’s touch boosts success!
Tumwebaze’s definition of success doesn’t end in accomplishing ones goals. To him, “it is the continuous accomplishment of an aim or purpose in all areas that make up life… With that in mind, women play key roles in maintaining this success… and can stand with her husband in prayer during these times, and give him words of encouragement and be the first to believe in him and boost his ego before anyone else does”.
While men are a symbol of strength and leadership, at the end of the day, they are also human. They need someone to ask for advice, someone to speak their mind to and someone that is always there for them even when they make a mistake.
Before marrying his wife Melinda, Bill Gates became the richest man in the world, but some argue that it was Melinda’s influence that convinced Gates to spend billions on world health issues. Today, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundations is at the forefront of the fight against malaria and Aids in Africa and has been endowed with close to $29 billion to solve global health and education crises.
Check this out! Researcher David Popenoe, Ph.D. on the National Marriage Project, Rutgers University, noted that “men become more productive after marriage; they earn between ten and forty percent more than single men with similar education and job histories. Encouragement and support from a spouse play a key role”.
He supported his proposition by saying that women and men are different when it comes to levels of patience and understanding and when a man and woman form a relationship where they support each other, a man gets a different perspective of things that he otherwise wouldn’t have had… and this usually happens after marriage.
At the end of the day, for anyone to be successful, they need to have support, and for men, women have filled that position best.
Kudos to women! They deserve the best accolade on earth!
(For feedback and other comments, please send them to the author’s email address: [email protected]).